Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
