I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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