I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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