Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
