What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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