Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
my shit smells like andre
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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