a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
