SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
