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i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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