I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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