I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
