Nicole vs. Life
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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