I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
