So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
