The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
