I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
