so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
