doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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