with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
