One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
