TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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