i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
its not stalking. its research.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
