I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
