yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The air was thick with penises
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
