why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
