i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
that is very illegal...i love you.
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