Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
My sheets look like a crime scene.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
