Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
