sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
