Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
