Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
