kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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