Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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