I'm gonna have a badass scar
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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