I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
