hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
