I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
