dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
This is the high leading the old right now
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
