I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
