Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
