i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
