I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
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i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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