did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
