At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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