Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.