I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
