he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
