Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I have peed in a lot of sinks
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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