In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
