I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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