what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
