it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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