my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
