I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
